Why do I worry about my teens relationship with God?
- Statistics show that more than 50% of kids their age {13-17} attend church on a regular basis. However, that number drops to less than 35% between 18-29. {Is it just me or is that number frighteningly low??}
- There are so many competing interests for my kids time and energy. I want God to remain the PRIMARY voice that they hear and discern as they go through life.
- Departure from church often times means that the kids are “taking a break” from their faith all together. I have been there and done that. The decisions I made during that time caused great heartache and consequences in my life that I want my children to avoid.
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What can I do to encourage my kids {particularly my 18 and 20 year olds} to keep faith a priority as societal temptations, distractions and ambition compete for their attention?
- Trust God. When the prodigal son left, the father did not chase him down and beg him not to go. He trusted and hoped that he would return. As our kids grow up, we have to relinquish {more and more} control and increase our faith and trust that God has got their outcome in His hands.
- Lead by example. Our kids need to see consistency from their parents and the adults they respect in their lives. Even if my kids one day make the choice not to go to church, it will remain an expectation when they are living in our house {and a strong encouragement when they are visiting}.
- Tell my story. So often, we are nervous to tell our kids that we messed up in our past. As my kids get older, I see that God can use the mistakes of my past as a real life illustration to show the dangers of wandering away from God {and His awesome, redemptive power}.
- Love, love and more love. No matter the choices my children make I must love them anyway. This reality has been tested in my life already with our oldest son and I can tell you that love is a universal language. It gets through when nothing else can. {and that includes the language of tough love when necessary}.
Do you worry about your child’s faith as they grow and leave home?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for this post. My second son (almost 20yo) is “taking a break” from his faith. It saddens us to no end that he isn’t living for the Lord. My husband and I are first generation Christians. We KNOW what the world is like – the facade of sin. Like you, I don’t want him to “try out” the world and suffer the consequences of that. Letting go has been so hard! I’m so thankful to have had godly women encourage me to love, love, love and love more! My son’s girlfriend is expecting a baby in June. It was so hard to hear those words, “Mom, she’s pregnant.” So much dying to self at that moment, and in the moments to come. Dying to my desire to have a grandchild and to feel free to shout from the rooftops that I’m going to be a grandmother. Dying to my desire to have a “perfect” son’s family. Then the realization that what I was really upset about was my reputation, my dreams being crushed. But what about God? It was in that moment that God reminded me that He created this child. That He has a plan. So I’ve been praying ever since that God would give me a strong love for this grandbaby. And you know what? HE HAS! I’m so excited to meet this precious granddaughter!! I’m letting go, and letting God work. I don’t want my attitude or actions to hinder the work He is doing.
Thank you for allowing God to soften your heart towards your grandchild. I was a teen mom and support from family is so crucial! Every life is a gift. I will be praying for your son to return to the fold and for everything else God has in store for your family. Thanks for commenting!
I have been very fortunate with my children. They have all attended public school, as being home was not an option for me. I use to worry about the influence the world would have on them. But I trusted the Lord with their lives. My children are precious examples of the hand of God upon them. My eldest daughter, 21, will be married this June to the only man she’s ever known (other than her daddy); my eldest son, 17, is one of the main worship leaders in our House of Prayer. My youngest daughter, 11, prays and sings and leads worship in our Children’s equipping center and loves Jesus. My 8yo son is running behind and just loves to go to church.
We never made going to church an option. And we have always tried to be examples of parents who love God and try to model that. We are imperfect and I know that it’s only by His grace that my children have not gone off the road that God has set out for them.
That encourages me! Our kids are all still in church {they all still live with us so it isn’t an option} and I pray that they continue growing in relationship with Christ long after they fly our nest. Thanks for commenting!